ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS
YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING
NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED
IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat
ABOUT TO TRY THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW I’LL LET YOU KNOW HOW IT WENT IN LIKE 40 MINUTESSTATUS REPORT: IT WORKS OKAY. BUT BE THE FUCK CAREFUL CAUSE THAT’S OIL AND OIL AND WATER DON’T LIKE EACHOTHER. IF YOU’RE NOT CAREFUL WHEN YOU SIT BACK DOWN TO RINSE THE OIL OFF YOU’LL FALL AND POSSIBLY DIE.
ALSO, SHIT IS MESSY. SO BE SURE TO BE READY TO CLEAN UP WHATEVER FALLS ON THE FLOOR AS YOU’RE SITTING ON THE EDGE OF YOUR TUB. LIKE HAVE A SPARE TOWEL SITTING THERE TO GET IT.
MY SKIN SOFT AS SHIT Y’ALL I KEEP RUBBIN IT JESUS HAS TOUCHED MY SKIN AND BLESSED ME. HALLELUJAH.
|parents:||the baby's first words!|
|baby:||t- thh- th-|
|baby:||t- tha- tha-|
|baby:||That’s right, I am Kira. And what can you do? Kill me right here? Hear this: I’m not only Kira, but I’m also God of the new world. Kira has become law in the world we now live. He’s the one who’s maintaining order. I have become justice, the only hope for mankind. Kill me? Is that really the right thing to do? Since Kira’s appearance six years ago, wars have stopped and global crime rates have been reduced by over 70%, but it’s not enough! This world is still rotten… with too many rotten people…. Somebody has to do this! And when I first got that notebook all those years ago, I knew I had to do it—no, I was the only one who could! I understood that killing people was a crime. THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY! THE WORLD HAD TO BE FIXED! A purpose given to me! Only I could do it! Who else could’ve done it and come this far?! WOULD THEY’VE KEPT GOING?! … The only one… who can create a new world… is me…|
It is the year 2046. The time has come for the annual Blog Inspection. Armed android wardens begin to arrive at the homes of the country’s prisoners who were once called citizens. A warden knocks on a ramshackle door. It is answered by an old man, bedraggled, starving, weary. The robotic guard’s abdominal display screen flickers to life with the image of a popular post on tumblr. “This has to be on everyone’s blog at least once,” intones the android. Fear enters the man’s eyes. He has not reblogged this post. He shrieks and, with one fell motion, blasts a hole into the android’s head with his laser magnum. Everyone in the neighborhood watches on in horror as the man, calling for liberation, is tackled by dozens of androids. His screams die with the buzz of plasma spears. There is no freedom. This has to be on everyone’s blog at least once. Everyone’s.
are you okay there
E V E R Y O N E
NO CHANCES TAKEN
I tried many times to have open conversation with Lee Hi. Yesterday, during final practice, when i was teaching her how to flow through choreography, for about 30 minutes, I kept telling Hayi ‘No, it’s not like that.’ During this time, Hayi was visibly upset. When someone returns your smile with upset look, you don’t feel good as well. So, in anger, i said, ‘Hayi, do you dislike me?’. Her response made me laugh so hard. She said, “Sajangnim, since the start of practice, i’ve been dying to use the restroom.”